Natalie
by Vianna7uk
Summary: The story of one Slayer and the effect she has on Spike's destiny
1. Unmade History

Unmade History  
  
He blocked each move she made. Fire in his deep blue eyes, loving the battle, her years of training did not help her. She was finally winning though, about to strike the final blow when an explosion outside blew glass into the room. She covered her eyes to shield her from the glass, he took advantage of the diversion to try and turn things around. The fight continued, neither side were clearly winning. She made a mistake and he had her. She felt his teeth sink into her neck and drain the life from her body. It was over.  
  
Natalie awoke from the dream with a start. She felt the power within her mounting, it was no dream. It was her time to face the monsters, the vampires, she was now the Slayer.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
She sat in the middle of the room, trying to centre herself. Her Watcher, John, was pacing around. He was excited that she was now a slayer, she couldn't see the difference, she was stronger but she had always been alive to face vampires before.  
  
"Will you please stop pacing? I can't concentrate on my studies with you constantly doing that!"  
  
"I apologise. I'm trying to find a book you will now need. Please continue."  
  
He is so English, she thought. However, she was in England now she had to remind herself, not France. She closed her eyes and focused again. A flash of a vision came to her; she was the dead slayer facing the Vampire, his eyes on fire. She could feel the heat between them, he wanted her, craved her blood and the fight. Part of her craved it too. Natalie gasped, brought back to the room in which she now sat cross legged.  
  
"Are you alright?" John was by her side.  
  
"Yes, but I saw it again!"  
  
"The fight?" She nodded. "It is to be expected. Your powers have grown, you can sense Vampires, you know when danger is coming. Maybe we should look into this fight? It may pose a danger to you, I will contact the council at once."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
She slept lightly. Each sound was dragging her away from her slumber. The council had given a name to the face that now haunted her, William the Bloody. He was one of a quartet of Vampires that was tearing their way around the world, last seen in China. Natalie could feel him hunting her now, she was what he craved. Her blood, her fight and she felt the craving too, felt him. His eyes watching from far away, wanting only her. She sat bolt up right in bed.  
  
"Goodness! No, I can't!" She quickly dressed and went out to hunt. She needed to hunt and kill some Vampires to feel clean once more.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat wandered slowly around the dark Scottish village. It had been plagued by what the locals thought were monsters for a month now. John now posed as a hunter; he got the praise while she did the work. He had changed a lot over the last month; he was more domineering, dragging her from place to place looking for the kill that would put them in the history books. She heard a shuffle behind her, she stopped and closed her eyes, concentrating. Turning swiftly and pinning her stalker to the nearest wall, it was John.  
  
"I could've killed you!"  
  
"I trust you." He shrugged her off and grabbed her by the waist. "You left quietly."  
  
"I didn't want to wake you."  
  
He pulled her closer to him, she tried to break free of his hold.  
  
"John, stop it!"  
  
"You're mine now. You do what I say." He kissed her hard; she felt sick, closed her eyes and wished someone would come and drag them apart. She wished William would find her at that very moment and take the blood he craved.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
She lay on the bed hugging her knees to her chest. The sun was up so she couldn't go hunting now, he turned, moaning in his sleep. She closed her eyes, trying to be anywhere but here. She drifted into her fantasy. The fight. He knew each move she would make and vice versa, he was connected to her like no other person had ever been. He saw her soul, his eyes were...  
  
Suddenly she was pulled back into the room, her prison.  
  
"About time! I've been trying to wake you. It's time to move on, we are leaving for France."  
  
John was worried, he seemed to be looking about constantly.  
  
"What's wrong?" Natalie asked bearing it no longer.  
  
"I've had word from the council, about the vampire that killed the previous slayer."  
  
"William?" Natalie said a bit too eagerly.  
  
John looked at her dubiously.  
  
"Know thy enemy, you taught me that."  
  
"He has discovered you are the slayer and is hunting us, I'm afraid we will have to be moving around a lot more."  
  
The carriage was ready and they boarded heading for Dover. From the shadows a blond Vampire watched as the girl peered out of the open door one last time.  
  
"The hunt begins, luv."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Natalie adored France, she had grown up here but, she was sent to England when she was nine. She had been a potential slayer the majority of her life. If she stopped and thought, being the Slayer was her life and she knew deep inside now she was the chosen one. She was not long for this earth.  
  
She felt him. William was on their trail she could feel it, she didn't tell John, deep in her heart she wanted to be caught. The abuse she received made her sick yet she couldn't remember how and when it had deteriorated to this level. He had her under his power, she could snap him like a twig but she knew she wouldn't when faced with him. His eyes, cold, unloving not like William's at all, they were full of fire. She had to remind herself that it was bad fire but it excited her.  
  
This night John had let her go out alone, which after 2 months of him not letting her out of his sight could not be a good thing. She knew that it was about power now, he had it and he had to control her with it, this was a way of throwing her off to keep her on edge. Well that's what she hoped. Natalie really hoped he wasn't planning something back at the apartment. She closed her eyes and pictured the blue ones that always pulled her through the violence and the pain. She was sitting at a small café, when she opened her eyes she saw him, her heart jumped to the back of her throat.  
  
William was talking to a young girl about her age, the body language told Natalie that she was his next meal. He started to lead her away, Natalie quickly followed, they ducked into an ally way.  
  
"Silly girl!" Natalie said under her breath. She followed into the ally but kept out of sight, she had never been this close to him and didn't know how she would react.  
  
He was kissing her and slowly moving his lips to her neck. Natalie knew now was the time to act but she found herself unable to move, part of her, the human and yet primal part, wanted to watch. She was fascinated at the poetry of the kill, the way he turned such an awful act into a thing of beauty, but the other part, the Slayer, was screaming for the fight, the kill, soon the Slayer took over.  
  
She ran at him pushing him off the girl.  
  
"Run for your life!" She yelled at her, the girl did exactly that. She wasn't as silly as Natalie first thought.  
  
"Slayer!" William said in a deep, menacing voice, which made the human part of her quiver.  
  
"You shouldn't have come after me William." His eyes lit up when she said his name.  
  
"You know who I am?"  
  
Natalie smiled, "When you kill a Slayer, you become more than just your average vampire, you become a threat to our existence. I like to know my enemies."  
  
He paused, tilting his head to one side eyeing her up. She did not need to assess him. Nat had replayed his fight with the last Slayer so many times she knew it by heart. She let him take her in, the human part of her melting inside.  
  
"So, did you come here to thank me for hurrying along your calling or to fight?" He asked finally.  
  
Before she could answer he pounced like a tiger, she took a step back but he managed to throw her against the wall. It pushed the air out of her lungs and she felt dizzy, he was coming at her again. Nat recovered and blocked the punch he threw, she continued to block every move he made, he fought like a boxer and it was easy to see in his eyes the move that was about to come.  
  
"What the hell? Are you reading my mind slayer?" The Vampire was astonished and breathing hard out of habit rather than need. She finally went on the attack, kicking and punching until she had him pinned to the wall. Nat pulled out her stake but paused when it came to the kill, the human part couldn't do it. Although his demon face now showed, his blue eyes were there, piercing into her soul. He took advantage of the pause and threw her to the ground.  
  
"You're not ready for me yet, Slayer." He turned to flee then stopped. "And for the record the name's Spike!"  
  
She exhaled and cursed herself for failing to kill him, then a smile crossed her lips. Spike? Spike made him sound even better some how, she gave in to her feelings that night and no longer held them back.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Natalie was busy cleaning herself up, she didn't want to look too bad for John he'd have too many questions and she didn't want to share right now. She shook off the water and started to make her way up the stairs to the apartment when she noticed a shadow lurking in the ally. She backed up and went to investigate.  
  
"I see you, you can't hide from me."  
  
The shadow moved into the light it was a female with a long flowing red dress, her hair was dark and wild but her eyes were seducing.  
  
"Who are you, what do you want?"  
  
Natalie was scared of her. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something bad had happened. The woman began to sway slightly and seemed to be staring right through into Natalie's soul.  
  
"I'm your worst nightmare!" Her voice was soft as if it were part of the wind itself. "The star's whisper to me, they say you don't want to play with me, but that's alright precious."  
  
She started to circle around Natalie. "My Spike and I don't need no Slayers to play with. We've got a nice ripe tick tock instead." Natalie tried to understand what she was saying.  
  
"I don't." She paused "You and William are partners?"  
  
The woman drew back from her as if she had suddenly become a pillar of fire. There was shock in her eyes.  
  
"He's inside, your veins plead for him. You don't want your tick tock, you want him!" She pointed at Natalie, her long delicate finger shaking. Natalie realised what she was talking about.  
  
"You have John?" Natalie was shocked. She had to get him! Then, she stopped, why did she have to? He kept her prisoner, held her back, she smiled. "Spike is going to kill him? He wants me to come to him and save my watcher?"  
  
There was fear in the woman's face, she began to shake.  
  
"The stars have told, they are naughty for telling, it's all spoilt! The game can't be played if there's cheating!" Her entire body seemed to change, she looked like a ghost.  
  
"Not spoilt, just changed. Go. Play with him, hurt him, kill him. Do what you want. I don't want or need him anymore!"  
  
The woman went back to her child like appearance drawing back towards Natalie.  
  
"They whisper that I am bad now, that what I do is wrong." She leant close to Natalie. "But you are the wicked one, what you are is wrong. He'll never love you back!" She smiled and danced off into the street.  
  
Natalie stood for a moment, she shook her head as if to shake the woman's words out. She had to run, he'd come for her when he found out she wasn't coming after John. She rushed into the apartment to gather as much as she could carry alone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
She had been chased for a month now and she was tired. Natalie finally settled in a small village outside of Paris. They had followed soon after. She watched them a lot, the woman knew when she was there. Her eyes flittered around, searching for her. Sometimes she saw Natalie but most times Spike distracted her. Spike never saw her and deep inside Natalie it killed her that he didn't. She had now tamed the Slayer within her and now when the time came she would let him kill her, he was the only one worthy.  
  
She watched the pair for a moment more, Spike suddenly looked directly at her and smiled. Natalie's heart raced, he saw her, they stayed eyes locked for a few seconds then he walked away. Natalie was confused, her head spinning, why did he walk away? It wasn't what she was expecting, had he given up the hunt? Was that his goodbye? It can't be! Natalie shook off the feeling and went on the hunt.  
  
The next night there were no vampires around, everything was peaceful, too quiet for her. She went back to the small room she now called home. Books were all over the floor; she was studying magick and had become a good witch. She filled in the watcher journal about the lack of activity, it was the only personal item of John's she had kept. She wrote about his death, omitting the fact that it was Spike that killed him and that she had not rushed to help him. Since then she had written nearly everyday and had studied. She had begun to think she was a better Watcher than he ever was.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
A week had passed and she had not seen Spike. She had been concentrating on her magick but now a panic had set in. She woke up around noon and dressed, she was going to hunt for him today. She pushed her way through the crowded market place, she had seen them here many times and guessed that they must be staying near here. She saw a shadow and it made her heart skip, a young woman stepped out adjusting her clothes, Natalie cursed under her breath.  
  
She had fallen for him and fallen hard. It was tearing her up inside, she needed to find him. It was pointless fighting without him to loose to.  
  
She continued her search becoming more disheartened with each passing minute. Night was passing fast and she had all but given up hope of finding him, she was becoming tired and headed back to her apartment.  
  
She passed a café, recognising it from her first contact with Spike. She glanced over to the ally and saw movement in the shadows, could it be? she thought. She went towards it and the shadow withdrew into the ally.  
  
Natalie chased the shadow catching up with the dark haired vampire.  
  
"Not running from me are you?"  
  
"I have no grievance with you Slayer, but don't make me change my mind."  
  
He had an Irish twinge to his voice and she could see from his body language he didn't want to fight her.  
  
"So why are you watching me?"  
  
"A friend of mine came after you, I was checking he didn't get you."  
  
"Concern from a vampire, that's new, but no Spike hasn't caught me yet."  
  
"He's still using that name then? Well, I saw what I came to see, glad he didn't get you. Guess one was all he'll be know for." The vampire turned to leave.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Then it wasn't you who dusted him? Must have been in a brawl, I told him it would be the death of him!"  
  
"What do you mean? He's dead?" Her voice began to quake.  
  
"From what I heard, yes." She blasted energy at him throwing him against the wall.  
  
"You're lying, it's another game!" The vampire got up with a smile.  
  
"No game, he's history!"  
  
She blasted him again, turned and ran, her mind was racing and her hands crackled with energy. She stopped dead and took in her surroundings, she was on a roof top with tears streaming down her face. If he wasn't dead which she didn't believe he was, he had sent that vampire to tell her, he'd given up and he didn't want her to come after him. She looked down below, no vampire could kill her that was more worthy than him and the only way out was death. She was breathing heavy, her heart racing. She stopped crying and placed her hand on her chest and concentrated. Shutting down her Slayer part, bringing the human in control again, her powers now dormant she would not survive the fall. She looked ahead.  
  
"Only I am worthy of this kill now." She stepped forward, falling to her death.  
  
A crowd gathered, no one knew the girl, she died alone, unloved.  
  
"Poor child." People muttered as news spread from person to person.  
  
A figure stepped from the café and lit a cigarette, wandered over to see what the commotion was about, when he saw who it was he cursed and stormed off.  
  
"How dare she take my kill, two years bloody wasted!" He flicked the cigarette into the gutter and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and her face was there in his head.  
  
"Would've been a nice fight as well, wouldn't mind losing to that one." He tried to shake it off and disappeared into the crowd.  
  
Natalie watched him from a few feet away. She was stuck between worlds now, forever watching him. Never touching him. She listened to him curse her and his final admiration of her skill and could only think one thing. "Wish you had turned up earlier!" 


	2. Natalie

There was a blinding light. She blinked a few times trying to get used to the normal light and the   
  
feeling of having a physical body. The first thing she saw was the current Slayer. She smiled.  
  
"Well that's a turn up, isn't it?"   
  
The room was full of people, all staring at her.  
  
"Hi, I'm Buffy."  
  
"I know who you are. You're making a lot of waves up there, you know?"  
  
She ran her hand through her hair. "Mind if I sit?"  
  
"Oh yeah, sure." She sat on a chair. The rest of the group gathered round the outskirts of the room.  
  
"So you need my help. What can I do?"  
  
"Well you seem to know who I am, but, well, I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?"  
  
"Goodness I'm sorry. I'm Natalie. I'm a past slayer, and current helper of you, it seems."  
  
The young red haired witch eyed her with concern "Are you sure we can trust her Buffy?"  
  
"I think so, but there's one way to find out for sure. I'll call Giles."  
  
"That's your watcher, right? Sounds good. I want you to trust me, so anything you want to ask, go ahead."  
  
"Who was the girl before you, and after, then?" a young guy chirped up. He seemed very defensive.  
  
"Well, after, I don't know. Before, a girl from China, killed by William the Bloody, who you probably don't know."  
  
  
  
The whole group looked at each other.   
  
"Or I could be wrong?"  
  
"You know of Spike?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Well, he did try and kill me for a while so, yeah, kind of."   
  
"Well, I think you should know, he's here."  
  
Panic set in as Natalie jumped up "Where? Is he the one after you?"   
  
Buffy put her hand on Natalie's shoulder. "I guess we should fill her in before dark."  
  
Natalie sat on the couch, the group now dispersed. Willow sat beside her. It had turned dark, and Buffy had gone to   
  
meet Spike before he saw Natalie. "You ok now?"  
  
"I'm not sure, I can't believe he's still around. And good?" she raised her eyebrow and bit her lip. She really didn't   
  
want to see him yet, but if Buffy wanted her to, she had to.  
  
The front door opened and Buffy came in. Spike was behind her. He looked just the same, apart from the up-to-date clothes.   
  
She looked at him.  
  
"Oh that one. Yeah I remember her, but I didn't kill her." Spike scoffed.  
  
"I never said you did." She stood ready for an attack that wasn't coming "I said you tried to, but you killed my watcher.   
  
That's was as close as you got, and to be honest, you did me a favour with him."  
  
Everyone was shocked at the change in her, apart from Spike. "Feisty one, isn't she now. I remember why I stayed after   
  
you for so long."  
  
"Spike, enough. Natalie, can I talk to you ALONE?"   
  
She followed Buffy into the kitchen  
  
"Is this gonna be a problem, you and Spike. 'Cos if so, I can get him to stay out the way."  
  
A flutter in her stomach told Natalie that that was not a good plan. She'd come down, hoping to see him again.   
  
There was no way she was going to agree to that. "No, it's ok, I just have to deal with it. I'll be fine, promise."  
  
"Ok, I'm going on patrol. You wanna come with? Spike will probably tag along as well."  
  
"Ok, I could use the exercise. Got to get used to having a body again."  
  
She walked slightly behind Spike and Buffy. Spike kept looking back to check on her, but she didn't know if it was to   
  
check she was still there, or that she wasn't going to stick the stake in his back. She smiled to herself. Maybe she'd   
  
do that later. She thought about everything they had told her, the chip, him being in love with Buffy, and Dru gone.   
  
It was a lot to take in. She wouldn't have thought they would separate like that. They seemed to be made for each other.   
  
And in love with a slayer, that was a good one. She laughed to herself, and Buffy and Spike turned round and looked at her.  
  
"Sorry," she apologised.  
  
Buffy carried on. Spike dropped back and walked with her. "So did you tell them how you died then?"  
  
"No, and you're not going to either. I'm sure it's not in the diaries."   
  
"That's for sure. One of the first things I looked for, the one that got away. You know," there was an awkward pause,   
  
"so why you do it?"  
  
"None of your business really, is it?"   
  
She walked faster to catch up with Buffy and out of nowhere a vamp flew at her. She automatically ducked, and he flew over   
  
her at Spike They both fell to the ground.   
  
"Duck!" she said lamely  
  
The vamp got up quickly and went to attack again. Quick as  
  
him, Natalie held a stake out and the vamp ran into it.   
  
"Ok that was to easy. What happened? The vampires lose more brain cells during the years? I didn't think that was possible."  
  
"Hey, we're not all like that," Spike said as he dusted himself off.  
  
"Sorry Spike, I agree. That was a bit easy, nice fighting though."  
  
"Not my usual weapon, but it worked."  
  
"What's your usual weapon then?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Staff," Spike and Natalie answered at the same time.   
  
"Ok, didn't need it in stereo, but ok."   
  
Buffy moved on. Natalie looked at Spike "what's stereo?"  
  
The rest of the patrol was quiet, but it gave Natalie a chance to have a look round Sunnydale. It was a nice little town.   
  
Buffy and she spoke about dying and heaven, not that there was much to discuss, but Buffy was happier that she had someone   
  
to confide in.  
  
When they got back to the house, Buffy went to bed, but Natalie couldn't sleep. She read a bit, catching up on what had   
  
happened in the world. She got bored after a while, so she left a note with an amazing pen that didn't need ink.   
  
Willow had shown it to her earlier, but she still found it amazing.   
  
She wandered to the cemetery that was nearest to the house and walked around. she was uncertain if she wanted a vamp to   
  
attack or not. She heard a noise behind her, and back-flipped so she was behind the guy following her, and pinned him to   
  
the ground. It was when she was on top of him that she realised it was Spike.   
  
"You shouldn't sneak up on a slayer. You'll get yourself killed."  
  
"Yeah, well lesson learnt. Mind getting off me love?"  
  
Natalie got up, and felt herself going red. Dammit, she knew this would happen if she got close to him. She looked back   
  
at Spike. He had a big grin on his face and was getting a cigarette out of his jacket.   
  
"What's wrong? Not used to pinning guys to the floor?"  
  
"No, I mean, God. I forgot how annoying you are." She started to walk away from him.   
  
"Hold up, what you doing by yourself anyway? Buffy let you out?"  
  
"I was going to ask the same thing. Won't you get in trouble, being out by yourself. Buffy won't be happy."  
  
"I'm not bothered."   
  
She realised that she had touched a nerve and decided to back off.   
  
"So," Spike looked at her.   
  
"What? I have no idea what to say."   
  
He smiled. "Well pet, you don't need to speak. Just stand there looking pretty." She went red again and quickly turned   
  
her back to him. She was going to have to get her body to stop doing that.  
  
"I've figured it out."   
  
She spun round to face him again.  
  
"You've figured out what?" She was really hoping he hadn't.  
  
"You have a thing for me, don't you?"  
  
"No, why would I? That's just silly. I mean you're a vamp. I'm a slayer. You tried to kill me. Why would I have a thing   
  
for you?"  
  
"That sounded a bit too well rehearsed love, also you're rambling. Seen Willow do that with Tara, so I'm guessing you   
  
have a crush."  
  
She took a sharp breath in. There was no way she was going to get out of this lightly. She started to walk away.  
  
"Oh, my God, you do. This is classic. Wait till I tell Buffy."  
  
"NO, don't you dare tell her. This is a bad thing, ok?"  
  
"You sound like her. What is this? A slayer thing? 'Cos if it is, I'm going to avoid Faith."  
  
"Fine, you tell her. I don't care."   
  
She was about to walk away when she had an idea. "Or, I could kill you. You know, dark night, attacked by vamp. How was   
  
I to know it was you?"   
  
The smile disappeared from his face. "You wouldn't."  
  
"Try me."  
  
He lunged at her and she side stepped him. "You couldn't kill me then, and you can't kill me now."  
  
He hit her, and the chip didn't go off. He looked surprised.   
  
"Why didn't the damn chip go off?"  
  
"Come on, you didn't think I could come back and be all human, did you? Part magick, don't hold back mate," Natalie mocked.  
  
He hit out at her again, and she took his punch and channelled the pain in to a powerful throw. She pinned him again.   
  
"You're dead now." She lifted the stake but couldn't do it. She really wanted to, but couldn't. "Just, I could if I   
  
wanted to."  
  
She got up and started to walk away. He jumped her from behind and now had her pinned, holding her hands above her head.  
  
"Never turn you back, slayer, that's the first rule. Remember, I could have killed you now, so truth, or I kill you.   
  
Do you have a thing for me?"  
  
She swallowed, she looked into his eyes. He was serious. "No I don't have a thing, but I may, and I stress may, be in   
  
love with you."  
  
He looked really shocked and she could have taken advantage of his distraction but, was enjoying his body on top of hers   
  
too much to cut it short. He recovered and was focused on her again. "You better not be messing with me."  
  
"No, not messing. You want to know why I killed myself? Because, .." she couldn't believe she was about to tell him.   
  
"I thought you stopped hunting me. I thought you had stopped caring."  
  
He sat up, letting go of her and she sat up so that they were facing each other.  
  
"You're not kidding, are you?" He swallowed. "I never knew, I mean, I didn't give up on you. Dru got bored so we went to   
  
the next town, but we were back within the week. By then you were well, .." he paused.  
  
"Dead, you can say it."  
  
He looked at her for a while.   
  
She didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry, I'll just go. They'll be worried about me."  
  
She got up to leave and he pulled her back down "You're not gonna dump this on me then leave."  
  
She sat looking at him. "Well, what do you want me to say?"  
  
He stood up, walked to a tree and punched it. He left a big dent in it. "Dammit, why me? I always end up with the screwed   
  
up love life. Why is that?" He turned and looked at her.  
  
She had started to cry. This was not how she had expected him to react.   
  
"God pet, don't cry. I didn't mean .., you are just .., I can't explain."  
  
Natalie stood up wiped her eyes and looked him in the eyes. "I take it back then. If it hurts you that much, then I take   
  
it back."   
  
He walked towards her. "You're one hell of a girl. No one has cared about me like this. I mean killing yourself because   
  
I didn't want to kill you? Kinda twisted."  
  
She laughed. "I didn't say I was normal."  
  
He laughed. She was glad he could see the funny side. She was about to say goodbye when he grabbed her and kissed her.   
  
She melted into his arms. She had pictured this moment forever, but this was far better than she could have imagined.   
  
He pulled away from her, "Sorry, just the moment, and, better go, sun's coming."   
  
He walked away and Natalie just stood there in a half daze. She couldn't move even if she wanted to.  
  
Natalie spent the next day training. It felt good to beat up a punching bag. She hardly spoke to anyone except to exchange   
  
niceties. They all could feel the coldness emitting from her, but no one dared ask her what was going on. She wasn't going   
  
to tell them even if they asked.   
  
She walked into the garden. Everyone had gone to the Magick Box to   
  
research and train. There was more room there and more of Giles' books. She was starting to fight an imaginary opponent   
  
with her staff. Suddenly the imaginary opponent took the form of Spike. She attacked him repeatedly, but he just smiled   
  
at her. It was scary. He seemed so real, but she knew he wasn't there. "You just walked away," she shouted at him.   
  
"Couldn't even face me."  
  
She attacked again, then fell into a crumple in the middle of the garden and sobbed. It was exhaustion and emotion all   
  
mixed in. "You messed up my life the first time, and you're doing it again," she sobbed.  
  
"Sorry about that, pet."  
  
She jumped up in fighting stance to see Spike staring at her from the shadows.   
  
"How long have you been there?"  
  
"Since you came out. Sorry I didn't know, I.."  
  
"Save it, just walk away. You seem to be good at that."   
  
She walked into the house angry with herself for letting him affect her again. Soon he was behind her again.   
  
"I'm messed up, kid. This whole thing has come out of nowhere. Falling in love with Buffy. It wasn't supposed to happen."  
  
He turned away to hide the emotions he was feeling from her.  
  
"Just leave me out of it. I was better when you wanted to kill me, at least then I knew where I stood. Now you kiss me,   
  
then take off."  
  
"The sun was coming up."  
  
"And you're using it as an excuse. You just left me." She raised her arm as if to hit him. "You're not worth fighting for   
  
any more. I should've done this before. I give up, Spike."  
  
He looked shocked, he'd expected a fight, or at least more abuse than this. It was what Buffy would have done. He looked   
  
at her, but she wasn't Buffy.  
  
He grabbed her and leaned in to kiss her. She backed off. "If you're just going to leave again, don't bother."   
  
"I didn't leave you pet. It was Buffy I was walking away from. I was a coward last night."  
  
He kissed her. This time she pulled away. She was crying. "It's because I'm leaving isn't it? I'm a short term solution   
  
to Buffy. I go then Buffy falls into your arms."  
  
"That's really what you think? Ok we'll fix that."  
  
He dragged her out of the house. "Where are we going?"  
  
"To see Buffy."  
  
"Ok so we have nothing, no reason why she was chosen to help me and not one of the others."  
  
Buffy stood before her friends. She wanted to work this out but she couldn't take advice from a slayer until she was   
  
sure that this girl was who she said she was. Suddenly the door burst in and Spike came in with Natalie in tow. It was   
  
obvious that she didn't want to be there.   
  
"What's she done?"  
  
"Nothing. It's something that I have done, slayer."  
  
Buffy was confused. There was something going on and she wasn't sure she wanted to know.  
  
"Buffy, I told you I loved you." She winced, every time he said that, she wanted to stake him.  
  
"Well, I take it back." Suddenly, the whole room was transfixed on Spike and for once he seemed uncomfortable with it.   
  
"It wasn't you I was in love with, pet. You were right, it was the pain, it was the   
  
fact you were the slayer. I couldn't kill you, so it turned into love."   
  
Buffy was stunned. Ok so she wasn't thrilled that he loved her, but for some reason it hurt her to hear this from him.   
  
"Ok, Spike I'll play along. What's brought this on then?"  
  
"Her." He pointed at Natalie who seemed to cower behind him. She looked like a small child, not a slayer. It brought home   
  
to Buffy how strong she was with her friends behind her. This girl had nothing but her watcher. No wonder she died so young,   
  
after 2 years of being a slayer.  
  
"It was with her it all started. She's the one that got away. I hunted her for a year, but it wasn't me who killed her."  
  
"Ok, enlighten me. Who beat you to it?"  
  
"I did." A tiny voice emitted from Natalie. "It's ok, I'll tell them."  
  
Spike went to put his hand on her shoulder but she shrugged him off. She had to do this on her own. "I'm in love with Spike.  
  
I always have been, even when he was trying to kill me. Mainly because he killed my watcher. You see when I was a slayer,   
  
watchers could get away with things. No heavy handed council then. My watcher took advantage in more ways than I'd like to   
  
recall."  
  
There was a sharp intake of breath from Willow.   
  
"Spike killed him after 3 months of hunting me and I was grateful. Unfortunately, I was by myself then, so I fled from him,   
  
but half of me wished for him the catch me. After a year he stopped. 2 weeks and I heard nothing, no vamp activity.   
  
I thought he'd given up on me, so I gave up as well."  
  
"You didn't?" Willow had tears in her eyes. Tara was at her side trying to comfort her.  
  
"I killed myself. That's why I'm here, but the difference is Buffy sacrificed herself to save the world. I did it to end   
  
mine."  
  
Silence engulfed the room. Natalie felt faint, and felt Spike grab her to stop her from falling.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"I need some air." He led her out to the back of the shop.  
  
"I did the right thing. I mean they would have found out eventually, right?" she recovered herself and started to pace the   
  
alley.  
  
"Buffy needed to know. What about you? It was for your benefit as well."  
  
She stopped pacing and faced him, he automatically wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into his shoulder. He put his   
  
arm round her and pulled her into him.  
  
"I'm sorry." she looked into his eyes.  
  
"How about we start over? Does that sound good? We could be a normal. Well maybe not normal, but a couple, until you   
  
finish your business."  
  
She smiled and buried her head into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and felt happy for the first time in a long   
  
while.  
  
In the doorway of the shop Buffy watched them, trying hard to fight back the tears. She closed her eyes and thought,   
  
"Way to go, Buffy. Now you figure out you're in love with him."  
  
Natalie wandered about the house from room to room. She couldn't sleep and didn't know why. She felt something deep down   
  
inside herself. She knew it was something bad, but couldn't quite figure what. She finally sat in the kitchen. A small   
  
tap came on the back door. She knew it was Spike. She sensed he was on his way, and was glad. She opened the door and sat   
  
back at the counter.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Spike.  
  
She looked towards the door. He came in, closing it behind him, then stood in front of her, wrapping his arms around her   
  
shoulders.   
  
"I don't know, a feeling that doesn't sit right."  
  
"Something bad?" Spike crumpled up his forehead, it made Natalie smile for a moment.  
  
"Slayers don't usually get feelings when a parade's coming, well unless it's a demon one" she laughed nervously.  
  
Spike could sense she didn't want to talk about it.   
  
"So Buffy feeling it as well?"  
  
"No idea. Guess not, she's asleep."  
  
As if by magic, Buffy appeared at the kitchen door.  
  
"Guess again. You feel it too, then?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yep."   
  
"Have an idea what it is?" Buffy got herself some milk and leaned on the other side of the counter.  
  
"Bad, don't think it's a vamp." She closed her eyes and went into the feeling. She was always good at this. "Coming to town,  
  
is vamp but not regular vamp." She shook her head. "I can't see him can you?"   
  
Buffy looked wide eyed at her "How the hell did you do that?"  
  
Natalie smiled, "You get dreams, don't you? It's different for some."   
  
Buffy nodded "Of course to get the dreams you have to be asleep. I think I'll try again. Maybe it's a two slayer thing."   
  
She put the glass in the sink and started to leave.   
  
"Buffy, two seconds." Natalie went after her, leaving Spike in the kitchen. "Are you ok, about ..?" She looked back at the   
  
kitchen.  
  
"I know it's ok and I don't see why I shouldn't be. It's a bad decision on your part, but I know from experience that we   
  
each have to make our own bad decisions." She smiled.  
  
"Thanks. I don't think the others will quite agree."  
  
"They will, they just, well they are protective of me, that's all. Once they realise I'm fine, they will be as well."   
  
Buffy hugged her "It's nice to have a sister slayer around that's not trying to kill me."  
  
"No, that's my boyfriend's job." They both giggled.   
  
Spike appeared from the kitchen.  
  
"You gossiping about me?"  
  
"Slayer stuff, top secret, now I have to sleep." She looked at Natalie again.  
  
"We're ok now, yeah?"  
  
Natalie nodded.  
  
"Cool, 'night. Don't stay up too early. Don't want Spike here in the morning." She disappeared upstairs.  
  
Natalie sighed and felt Spike hug her from behind. "You feel better about the Buffy situation then?"  
  
"A bit. I still think she's holding something back, but I guess she doesn't want to share."  
  
She turned and faced him.   
  
"She doesn't like me. I've told you, should have seen the faces she pulled when I told her how I felt."   
  
Natalie smiled. "Ok, so what do you want to do?"  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow. "I have a few ideas."  
  
Natalie was awoken by a loud crash. She had fallen asleep in Spike's crypt. She reached out for Spike but he was already up.   
  
She quickly threw on some clothes and ran upstairs, to find Buffy pinning Spike to the wall.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" she yelled.  
  
"Just heard a rumour that Spike is up to his old tricks again." Buffy said and pushed Spike against the wall harder.  
  
"I told you it wasn't me. I was here all night. Tell her, pet."  
  
"I can honestly say he was here, Buffy." She smiled at Spike who beamed back at her.   
  
Buffy dropped him to the floor. "Well, I didn't want that image in my head. Ok, fine. It wasn't you, but it was a vamp   
  
trashing bars that fits your description, so someone wants to frame you."   
  
Natalie crossed the room and crouched next to Spike who was still sitting in a pile on the floor.  
  
"You ok?"  
  
"I'll live."  
  
She looked at Buffy. "You want me to see if I can find out anything?"  
  
"I've asked all the people I can think of. Here was my last resort, trust me."   
  
"No, I don't mean that way." She sat, crossed her legs and closed her eyes. A glowing ball appeared in her hands.   
  
She opened her eyes and looked into it. "It's our bad-feeling vamp. I'm afraid, and he's looking for me." She looked up at   
  
Buffy who was gawking at her. "You didn't know I was a witch as well then?" She looked at Spike who had the same expression   
  
on his face.   
  
"Do you people not research when a strange slayer turns up on your doorstep?" She looked into the ball again.  
  
"He knows a lot about me, more than you, he.." The glowing ball exploded. Natalie's eyes went wide.  
  
"We have to kill him."  
  
Spike put his arm around her. "Who was it pet? You know him?"  
  
She looked up at Buffy. She had tears in her eyes and she was shaking with fear. "It was my watcher."  
  
By nightfall, Natalie still hadn't calmed down, Buffy had seen some scared people in her life, including herself, but   
  
they were nothing compared to this. Spike had stayed with her the majority of the time. Natalie was like a scared child.   
  
Every noise made her jump a mile, and now that it was nightfall it was getting worse.  
  
"I'm gonna have to sort this. She can't go on like this much longer."  
  
Willow nodded. "Buffy, I've never seen anything like this before. What he did to her must have been .."  
  
"a living nightmare." Natalie was standing behind them.  
  
"Natalie, are you ..?"  
  
"Call me Nat, but Ok, no. I'm scared stiff, but .." She hung her head. "I need to face him. I've got friends now.   
  
It's different from before."   
  
Willow hugged her. "We'll help all we can."  
  
Natalie smiled weakly.  
  
"You should get some sleep."   
  
"I don't think I can. I need to find him, Willow. Do you think you'll have enough things for a locator spell?"  
  
"Yes, but to locate one person. I don't know if I could do that."  
  
"I can."  
  
Buffy knew that look. Nat meant business  
  
Everyone was ready to go. Spike wouldn't let Natalie out of his sight. Buffy was jealous. She had never had that since Angel.  
  
She felt a pain when she thought about how near he was but how far away.  
  
"Ready, Buffy?" Xander appeared behind her.  
  
"Yeah, lets kick some watcher butt."  
  
They walked through the streets in silence. Buffy followed close behind Nat and Spike. Suddenly Nat stopped outside a   
  
warehouse.   
  
"He's in here. You guys stay here. I'll lure him out." Spike was about to protest but a look from Nat, and he decided   
  
against it.  
  
Natalie disappeared inside, and nearly as soon as she disappeared through the door she was flying back out, hitting the   
  
opposite wall with a painful thump. Spike quickly was at her side.  
  
"What the hell happened?" Spike put his arm around her and she flinched.  
  
"How long was I gone?" Nat was shaking all over.   
  
"A few seconds at the most." Buffy said as she appeared the near the door. She looked through the doorway.  
  
"Time trap. He knew I was coming."  
  
Buffy looked back at Nat. She was close to tears. "A what?" Buffy said with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
"A simple spell, set for one person. Only I can go in, and can spend years in there, but only seconds pass out here.   
  
Lucky for me I left the door open. I got him the throw me out." She was going to cry at any moment.  
  
"How long were you really in there?" Spike was close to flying through the door and ripping this guy apart.  
  
"I don't know, an hour, maybe more. I .." She passed out. Spike scooped her up.  
  
"She not facing him again."  
  
"But, Spike, that's up to .."  
  
"Sorry Buffy, but he nearly killed her, and I know what he's doing. He wants her to suffer. This is just the start.   
  
She's not fighting him. We find another way." He walked away.  
  
Buffy looked towards her friends. "We find a way in, and fast, before Spike does."  
  
Nat woke up and Spike was leaning over her. She was back in his crypt. "You ok?"  
  
"No, I'm not dreaming any more."  
  
Spike smiled.  
  
"He didn't do anything else? I mean .."   
  
"You don't want to know what happened, Spike."  
  
"Like hell I do. Did he say anything to you? Did he .." Spike turned away.   
  
Nat tried to sit up but she hurt all over, her quick healing wasn't quick enough. "We fought. He said all the things that   
  
made me, .." She swallowed. "That make me squirm inside. He knows how to get inside me. He knows how to hurt me without   
  
touching me. He .." She closed her eyes. "He's gonna kill you Spike, or he's gonna try. I won't let that happen. I'll die   
  
before he'll do that."  
  
"You're not facing him again. I've already told Buffy that we need to find another way." He turned to face her but she was   
  
gone.   
  
"Dammit, why do I always fall for the headstrong ones?"  
  
Nat stood before the door. With a wave of her hand, the door flew off its hinges. She could tell that Willow had tried to   
  
get inside. She was powerful but Nat didn't think she could handle this.  
  
"Come out here. I'm not coming in there again. I'm not a stupid little girl any more."  
  
She stood back and he came out.  
  
"No backup? Come on, princess, you can't handle me alone, never could."  
  
She stood with her back to the wall.   
  
"I haven't come to kill you. I've come with a message."  
  
He smiled. She hated that smile. It plagued her nightmares. "I won't let you kill him, I'll kill myself before you hurt him."   
  
His eyes went wide. "Not again, you wouldn't. So close to what you want? I don't think you would."  
  
Nat pulled a gun out of her pocket and put it to her head.  
  
"Try me. I've loved him all my life. I'm not letting you hurt him. Kill me, beat me up, torture me, I don't care, but hurt   
  
him and, I'll kill myself."  
  
He looked at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time. "No deal."  
  
Nat closed her eyes and pictured Spike. "I did it for him before, I can do it again." she thought. She opened her eyes to   
  
see her watcher fly across the alley. She looked to her left and there were Willow, Buffy and Spike.   
  
"Hey, dumbass,, try picking on someone else for a change. You like slayers. Come and play with me." Buffy shouted.  
  
Spike looked at Nat. She lowered the gun from her head and walked towards her watcher.  
  
"I'm not the only one. As you see, once I'm gone there are others who will defend him."  
  
"Why are you here? Why did they send you?"  
  
"They didn't. I skipped the queue, and I didn't know you were here. Now I do, I'm glad. You going to fight my friends or   
  
run, because I'm sure they would love to rip you apart?"  
  
"I'll go, but I'll be back, not for him, for you." He disappeared in a cloud of smoke.  
  
She turned to Buffy. "Thanks." She started to walk away.  
  
"Nat!" Spike ran after her. "What was that about? Why didn't you get help?"  
  
"Spike I have to fight this alone. I can't put you or the others in danger. It's my fault he's here. I have to deal with him."  
  
"And the gun?"  
  
"Had to get him to back off from you, didn't I? I told you I'm not going to let him hurt you."  
  
"I can fight him. I killed him before didn't I?"   
  
"And yet he's here. Doesn't that strike you as odd? Someone brought him back. Why don't you get Buffy to find out who, and   
  
I'll deal with him."  
  
Nat walked away. Spike cursed. Buffy appeared next to him "Well?"  
  
"Looks like you are researching again."  
  
"Oh, my favourite part, with all the musty books. Be still my beating heart."  
  
They whole gang was on research. Buffy was out patrolling because she got bored with the books, and Spike spent most of the   
  
night looking out the window. Now the sun was up he was staring at the door.   
  
Buffy came in. "Heard that she was about, but haven't seen her. A few demon corpses wish they hadn't, I bet." She slumped   
  
on the sofa. "Spike, you still with us?"  
  
"Huh, yeah. I'm worried that's all. Wish it was dark so I could go find her myself."  
  
Dawn appeared from the kitchen, "Can I help? I'm all caught up school-wise so I have an entire free weekend."  
  
"Research is the best thing you can do right now," Nat said, appearing behind her. Spike jumped off the chair and nearly   
  
threw himself at her. "Where the hell have you been?"  
  
"Getting info, and some things." She dumped her bag on the sofa. "Willow about?"   
  
"Dining room."   
  
Nat disappeared into the dining room.  
  
"Ok, weird much. There's something wrong with her and I wish I knew what." Spike said with a painful expression.  
  
"So do I. She's been like a whole new person since her watcher showed up."  
  
Dawn leaned in the doorway, listening to the exchange. "Probably a spell. It usually is."  
  
Spike and Buffy looked at each other. "Dawn, you have your uses, you know that?"  
  
"So you and Tara will help?"  
  
"I don't know. It's kinda verging on dark magick, Nat. I'm not sure I want to delve into that."  
  
"I understand. It's a last resort, but I want it to be ready if we need it."  
  
"Need what?"  
  
"A spell. It'll help defeat my watcher, John or whatever he calls himself now." Nat sighed. "If you really don't want to   
  
do it, I can try myself. It'll just take more out of me, that's all. Of course there is a less dangerous spell we could   
  
use, but no guarantee he'll go to .."  
  
"We're not sending you back." Spike stood between Nat and Buffy.   
  
"Buffy, it's up to you." Nat had a serious expression on her face.  
  
"We need your help. You know him, and another witch would not hinder."   
  
Spike visibly relaxed.  
  
"Ok, I'm staying for now. Right you mull it over, Willow and I'll be back before night."  
  
"You're leaving again."  
  
"Yep, can't fight sitting around." She left them all standing in the dining room. Spike went after her.  
  
"What the hell is up with you."  
  
"I need to get rid of this guy, Spike. He's dangerous. He knows a lot and he's a sick-minded man, and that was before he   
  
became a vamp. Do you know what he'll be like now?"  
  
"I understand, but we'll fight him together."  
  
"I don't want to hurt anyone, especially you." He hugged her and she buried her head in his chest.   
  
"I've taken this long to let you know how I feel. I don't want to lose that."  
  
"I'll always be here pet, and I just found you. My screwed up life is starting to make more sense. I want to fight for that   
  
as well."  
  
She kissed him. "Let me fight, please. I have to do this."  
  
"On one condition. When night comes you let me fight with you, ok?"  
  
"Ok, I'll be back." She turned to leave. "If I'm not back by nightfall, he's got me." She turned and looked at him.   
  
"Don't come after me, ok?"   
  
She quickly left, tears flooding down her face.  
  
Night was coming and Spike started to get churned up inside. He knew that there was no way in hell he wasn't going after her.  
  
The rest of the group was looking for spells that could beat back Nat's watcher, but he knew that she wouldn't let them help,  
  
even if they found anything. Suddenly there was a thud against the door.   
  
"You son of a bitch, you're gonna pay for that." It was Nat's voice.   
  
Buffy ran to the door. The sun was still up so it couldn't be the watcher. Buffy flew out the door then stood still and   
  
laughed. "You don't need help then?"  
  
Nat came in through the door, covered in blood. "No, pain in the ass demon scum, hang on." She waved her hand. Buffy looked   
  
out the door and the demon blood and corpse disappeared from the front lawn. "Saves you having to clean up. Shame I can't   
  
do that on my clothes," she laughed.  
  
"Glad you're not all moody like before. What happened?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I found out info. Call everyone together while I clean up. You mind if I borrow some clothes?"  
  
"No that's fine. Probably have to burn those."   
  
Nat ran up the stairs. Spike followed. Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Ah, young love." she shook her head as if to shake the   
  
image out. "Ok guys, meeting." she yelled.  
  
Nat brushed her hair and tied it back. She had found some black trousers and a red top, and threw them on. She hadn't   
  
noticed Spike watching her from the doorway. She turned to leave the room and almost died from shock. "Goodness, Spike,   
  
you enjoy sneaking up on people don't you?"  
  
"I'm glad you're ok. You had me worried for a while there."  
  
"Like I was going to leave you." She threaded her arms around his waist. "I found out that I can stay. I don't need to go   
  
back."   
  
Spike picked her up and swung her round.   
  
"You sure? I mean no mistake?"  
  
"No mistake, and warn me next time you're gonna do that. I found a link to up there, and once you've been here 24 hrs,   
  
that's it, you're stuck. The bad side is, so is he."   
  
"You just made me very happy, so why don't we tell them the good news and kick some former watcher butt?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
She went downstairs and was confronted by her friends tied up.  
  
"What the hell?"   
  
Two guys jumped her from behind. Another one grabbed Spike.  
  
"So glad you've joined us, princess."  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"Surprise, I thought I'd come and see how you were getting on without me."   
  
The two thugs threw her on to a chair and Spike was put with the others.   
  
"Watch that one closely, he's the evil monster that's taken my princess away."  
  
"I'm not yours any more."   
  
He bent down and kissed her forehead, and Spike nearly exploded.   
  
"You'll always be mine, and soon we'll be spending eternity together."  
  
Nat closed her eyes and started chanting.  
  
"What are you doing? You know nothing magick could hurt me."  
  
Suddenly he caught on fire and disappeared from the room. The three thugs looked at each other and fled. Nat waved her   
  
hand and everyone became untied. She tried to stand and fell back on the chair again.   
  
"Is he ..?"  
  
"No, teleported out but he'll be back."   
  
Spike crouched next to her.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"Fire glamour for the thugs, but transported him into space. He'll find a way back soon enough. I had to get you free."  
  
"How do we fight him Nat?"  
  
"We don't. I do. Sorry guys, but I need to kill him. I'm the only one who can, and believe it or not, a simple stake   
  
will do but it needs to be me. Whoever brought him banked on me being too scared to kill him. That's the spell, they   
  
pick one person that is the weakness. They were wrong to pick me."  
  
"That's my girl. So we find him, you stake him, all done, right?"  
  
"I hope so"  
  
She walked around the cemetery. She knew Buffy, Spike and everyone were around but she still felt all alone. She was   
  
about to give up when she heard a voice.   
  
"Come on princess, you never fought back before." Suddenly she felt him with his arms around her. He materialised.   
  
"You were always so good. This Spike fellow has changed you. He'll pay for that."  
  
He kissed her neck and she found she couldn't move. She wanted to scream, to fight back, but she couldn't. Inside she   
  
knew it was fear and that he could get inside her just as much now as he ever could.  
  
  
  
"Why don't you tell me what you are feeling right now, baby?"  
  
"I'm not scared of you any more."  
  
"Then fight back, kill me." She tried to move again, but she couldn't. Suddenly she heard Willow's voice in her head.   
  
"We're all still here. We are with you. We know you can do it."  
  
She elbowed him in the groin, and turned in battle stance to face him.   
  
"Ok, I'm fighting back."   
  
"Stupid bitch, I could have given you everything, things could have been like they were."  
  
"News flash." She kicked him in the stomach. "I hated things before." She kicked him again. "Ever wondered why I didn't   
  
save you?" She kicked him again and he fell to the floor. "Because you were one of the bad guys. I should have killed you   
  
then." She sat on him. "Instead I let Spike do it. This time, it's my turn." She staked him and he turned to dust beneath   
  
her. She sat in the dust, hardly believing that she'd killed him. She stood slowly, still looking at the dust.  
  
Buffy and the others started to appear from their hiding places. Nat fell backwards. Spike caught her.  
  
"I did it." She was shaking.   
  
"Yep, all by yourself." Buffy beamed at her.  
  
"No, not by myself. Knowing you were all there helped me." She looked at Willow.   
  
"You're welcome. I thought you needed the push."  
  
She blinked a few times and looked at the dust again.   
  
"I can't shake the feeling that it's not over. Suddenly Nat disappeared in a blinking light. Spike nearly fell over.   
  
"Where the hell did she go?"  
  
Nat was surrounded by white, and knew she was back in heaven. "What gives? You said I could stay."  
  
"We have a condition, Natalie." The voice seemed around her and in her head at the same time. She hated that.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Leave Sunnydale. You are changing the future."  
  
"But Spike, he's the reason why I want to stay."  
  
"You're changing his destiny. You must leave him to save him." She felt images bombard her. She knew why.  
  
"I'll leave, but I have to say good bye to Buffy."  
  
"Understood."  
  
Another blinding light and it was day, she was standing on Buffy's front porch.  
  
She knocked on the door Buffy answered.  
  
"Nat, thank God!" She threw her arms around her.  
  
"It's a quick goodbye, Buffy."  
  
"But Spike, he's so worried. You're gonna say goodbye to him?"  
  
"He'll get over me, I know it's not me he loves. I'm not stupid."  
  
"But Nat, all the things he said?"  
  
"Sorry Buffy, he loves you he just hides it well. He changed his mind too quickly. Didn't you see it?"  
  
"You still have to say goodbye."  
  
"No, too hard. I have to leave. It's the only way I can stay, if you understand."  
  
"Sort of, yes."  
  
"Here." She handed a piece of paper to Buffy. Write your number and I'll let you know where I am, so If anything comes up .."   
  
she paused.  
  
"I'll let you know that he's alright."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
She hugged Buffy. "See you, sister."  
  
"What do I tell Spike?"  
  
"Nothing, you haven't seen me. My time was up." Buffy handed back the paper.  
  
"Where will you go?"  
  
"I have to find out who sent John, who wants to hurt me. That's a start."  
  
"This really is bye then."  
  
Nat nodded. She turned and walked out of Sunnydale. She couldn't stop the tears anymore. She let them flow.  
  
To Be Continued............. 


	3. Demon Fighting

Demon Fighting  
  
Natalie tossed in her sleep and every so often she would reach out for him. The ache inside hurting again when she found only bed sheets. She finally gave up and started to pack her things.  
  
She jumped when her mobile phone rang. Natalie had gotten it to keep in touch with Buffy, just in case. It had taken her a month to figure it out and she still found it strange.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Nat? It's Willow, I have some information for you."  
  
"Willow! Hi! Go ahead."  
  
"You're right about your Watcher. He was brought back by the residual demon, the magick we used to bring you back must have been more powerful than I thought"  
  
"Yes but, how did you figure it out?"  
  
"We had the same problem when Buffy came back. I should have realised sooner, sorry!"  
  
"It's fine Willow really. So, I have to find and get rid of this demon then, since it's my fault."  
  
"Way ahead of you, I did a locator spell, it's in LA. I can give you an address of people who can help you there."  
  
"Thanks that would help! How are you?"  
  
"Coping. Giles and the coven are helping a lot. I would love to see you over here after you finish the demon hunt."  
  
"Okay! Might take you up on that, now what's that address?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Natalie approached the hotel nervously. They knew she was coming, Willow said she had phoned ahead and they were researching the demon she was hunting. Still it made her nervous.  
  
She pushed open the door, the lobby was huge and the lack of people meant she had the right place. A young girl about Nat's age was reading behind the counter. Not my age, she corrected herself, I'm over a hundred. She walked down the steps, the girl looked up, taking off her glasses.  
  
"Can I help you?" she asked softly.  
  
"I hope so. I'm Nat, erm, Natalie." She held out her hand.  
  
"Oh! The Slayer, I'm Fred!" They shook hands. "The others are about somewhere."  
  
As if on cue a man appeared from the office.  
  
"This is Gunn."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hello!" Nat said, she was never going to remember all the names.  
  
"Old Slayer chick I guess?"  
  
"Charles!" Fred scorned.  
  
"It's alright, I've been called worse."  
  
"Oh, here's Angel." Fred said quickly trying to change the subject.  
  
Natalie turned to see Angel and nearly burst when she saw him.  
  
"You!" she shouted.  
  
"Yeah, me."  
  
"You know each other then?" Fred was trying to calm down Nat, Angel as always didn't seem fazed by the reaction.  
  
"Willow sent me to you? Well that's great, as if my life wasn't complicated enough I have to deal with another life wrecking vampire! You don't have a chip as well do you?" Nat's voice echoed around the lobby making it sound even louder.  
  
"No, a soul." Angel replied joining Fred behind the counter.  
  
"This gets better and better!" Nat threw her hands up and slumped onto the settee, putting her head in her hands.  
  
"I can explain if you'll let me." Angel sat next to her.  
  
"Go ahead, your excuses can't be any better than William's!"  
  
Suddenly, Fred and Gunn became more interested in the exchange. Angel shot them a look as if to tell them to stay out of it.  
  
"I did think he was dust but, I didn't think you'd kill yourself. If I knew, I wouldn't have told you. I'm sorry."  
  
"It wasn't you, it was him." She sighed. "It's always been him." She said in a whisper. Natalie's mobile went off making her jump.  
  
"Hello?" "Hey baby!" It was Spike. "How did you.?" "I'm evil remember. I stole your number from Red."  
  
She could tell from his voice something was wrong.  
  
"Where are you, are you okay?"  
  
"I needed to say sorry. For everything. I do love you but, you were right. It's her I fight for and look what that's got me!"  
  
"Spike, I don't blame you. I love you and always will. As for Buffy, that's why I left, you had to sort it out."  
  
She was pacing the lobby, Angel was watching her, probably able to hear Spike's side of the conversation.  
  
"I have to go pet, I just needed to say that."  
  
"Spike, where are you? I'll come see you and we can talk."  
  
"Maybe later, you have your stuff to sort out." He hung up.  
  
"Bye." She said to the dialling tone. She sat down.  
  
"You okay?" Angel asked.  
  
"I just need to clean up a bit." She said staring at the wall.  
  
"I'll show you to a room." Fred picked up Nat's bag and led her up the stairs. Tear's filled Nat's eyes as she followed.  
  
She was shaking, he had only said a few words to her and this was her reaction. She splashed water onto her face, her hands still shaking. A quiet knock at the door made her pull herself together.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hi, Nat? It's Cordelia." A dark haired girl breezed into the room. She had a tray of food. "Thought you might be hungry."  
  
"Oh, thanks. I've heard a lot about you."  
  
"Well I'm not as bad as I was in high school, are you alright?"  
  
Nat realised she was still crying. She wiped her eyes.  
  
"Man problems."  
  
"You want to talk about it?" Cordelia sat on the edge of the bed placing the tray beside her. Nat joined her and started to pick food off the tray.  
  
"Where do I start?"  
  
"How about the beginning?"  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Fred knocked on the door hearing Cordelia's voice inside.  
  
"Come in as long as you're female!" Cordy shouted. Nat giggled and Fred stuck her head around the door.  
  
"I think I qualify, just checking Nat's okay after the whole Angel thing."  
  
Cordy looked puzzled then her eyes widened when she realised "It was Angel who told you about Spike."  
  
Nat nodded. "Yeah, but I don't blame him."  
  
"Well I do, we will have words."  
  
Fred stood in the doorway not sure whether she was wanted or not.  
  
"Come on Nat, we'll sort him out. You with us Fred?"  
  
"Do we get to tell Angel off then?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"I like watching that, count me in!"  
  
Cordy linked arms with Fred and Nat and pulled them down the corridor.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"She doesn't look like much of a fighter!" Gunn said leaning on the counter.  
  
"She's a good fighter, don't worry." Angel was reading, his feet on the desk.  
  
Gunn turned. "And you know this how?"  
  
"She beat me up once, nearly killed me."  
  
"And this was because of Spike?"  
  
Angel winced slightly at the sound of his name. "Yeah."  
  
Talking and giggling was heard from the balcony. Gunn turned and saw Cordy, Fred and Nat chatting and walking down the stairs. Nat's eyes were red, there had been a crying session, he thought.  
  
"So, girls what's the plan?"  
  
Cordy gave Angel a look. "We need to talk later!"  
  
Angel not looking up from his book mumbled. "Mm hmm."  
  
"Okay Nat. What're we doing then?" Cordy looked at her.  
  
"Um, locator spell would work I suppose."  
  
"Okay, what do you need?" Angel said finally putting down his book.  
  
"A map, and." Nat dug around in her pockets. "I have my own pendulum."  
  
"I like a girl who's organised." Cordy beamed.  
  
"I learnt from Willow!"  
  
Natalie spread out the map in front of her. Gunn and Fred watched her with amazement. She clapped her hands together and rubbed them.  
  
"What does that do?" Fred asked.  
  
"Nothing, my hands were cold." Nat giggled.  
  
"I think you should let her get on with it." Cordy told them. They slowly moved away. Nat held the pendulum above the map. It went straight off. "Have you got a globe?"  
  
Angel placed the globe in front of her. The pendulum stopped over Mexico. Nats eyes went wide.  
  
"The demon is in Mexico?"  
  
Angel shook his head, "No but, I bet Spike is there!"  
  
"My concentration can't be that off!"  
  
"It's inside you Natalie, can't you see? You brought your watcher back as punishment!" Angel insisted.  
  
"Yes, I've read that somewhere!" Fred grabbed a book and flicked through the pages. "Here!"  
  
She handed the book to Nat who sat staring at the page not really taking in the words. They seemed to merge into each other.  
  
"It makes sense. So, you were here in LA when Willow did the locator spell." Angel held Nat steady and placed her down on the couch.  
  
"I didn't think!" Nat barely whispered.  
  
"You need to go to him." Angel looked at this small girl. She looked younger than Buffy ever did. He wished he could take the responsibility off her, but she was a Slayer. He knew she wouldn't let him.  
  
"I don't know if I can."  
  
"I don't think you have a choice!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The phone rang for what seemed like forever. It was Dawn who picked it up.  
  
"Hello? Summers residence."  
  
"Hi Dawn! It's Nat. Your sister around?" Nat was still shaking but her voice seemed steady and calm.  
  
"Yeah, two secs." She heard the receiver placed on the counter. "Buffy, phone!" Dawn yelled in the background.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Buffy, its Nat."  
  
"Oh hi! You okay?"  
  
"Yeah," She paused, not sure how to tell her. "I found him."  
  
She heard Buffy swallow hard. "Where?"  
  
"Mexico. I have to go to him."  
  
"So why are you telling me?" Buffy said coldly.  
  
"Should I bring him back to Sunnydale?"  
  
"Do what you think is right. But don't expect a warm welcome."  
  
"Okay, Buffy.I."  
  
"Don't say it." Buffy's voice softened. "You didn't know, couldn't know."  
  
"Yeah" Nat sighed. "I hope I see you soon."  
  
"Yeah, bye." There was a pause. "And Nat?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Good luck." Buffy said in a whisper, she hung up.  
  
"I'll need it." Nat said to the dialling tone.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
The journey was a pain. Nat always hated travelling even back when traffic jams were non-existent. Now it was worse.  
  
Mexico was hot, stuffy and she hated it. She had done the locator spell a few times and had pin pointed him to a house. She had tried to get up the courage to go up and knock on the door for two days now.  
  
"He must know I'm here!" She said staring at the door again. "Does he really want me to show up?"  
  
She was about to turn to leave when the door opened. Spike nearly running into her.  
  
"Sorry." He bowed his head and tried to duck past her.  
  
"Spike!" She said with concern. He looked up, tears filled his eyes when he saw who it was. "Nat, I."  
  
"You want to do this inside?" He nodded.  
  
Inside was very basic. A bed, a chair and a few books. Spike sat on the bed, Nat dumped her bag near the door and looked at him. His hair was a mess, he looked different, human.  
  
"What's wrong?" Nat knelt in front of him and looked into his blue eyes.  
  
"I did something really dumb!" He smiled. "But, I feel better now you're here."  
  
He cupped her face in his hands, she closed her eyes savouring his touch. She opened her eyes trying to push back in her head all the thoughts she now had.  
  
"Buffy explained why I left didn't she?" Nat asked, he pulled back from her.  
  
"Don't mention her, she has nothing to do with us!" He lay on the bed like a spoilt child. She got up and sat beside him.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean." Something wasn't right with him, not just the way he acted, the way she felt when she was with him. Something so very wrong. "What did you do?"  
  
She pushed a stray hair behind his ear and Spike caught hold of her wrist and stared straight into her eyes.  
  
"I got me a soul." Nat closed her eyes and shook her head.  
  
"Oh baby." She wanted to take away the pain he was feeling in that moment. Take back what was done so she could have him back the way he was. "Why did you do that?"  
  
"I had become a monster, I." He had started to pace the room.  
  
"I love you, all of you. That monster was part of you and I loved it too!" He stopped and sat next to her, she touched his face. He turned, kissing the palm of her hand. She felt electricity through her body at the touch of his lips.  
  
"I missed you!" She whispered. He let his hand fall on her back, bringing her closer to him.  
  
"I wish you were around a month ago."  
  
She rested her head on his shoulder. "So do I!"  
  
"Stay?" He asked, getting hold of her hand and kissing the top of her head.  
  
"For now." He lay her on the bed and held her close, their legs entwining, Nat closed her eyes and wanted the world to stop at that moment so she could stay forever.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
She woke to find Spike lying in her arms, purring softly like a kitten. Nat smiled. She loved him so much, she didn't know if she could let him go back to her. Deep inside she knew he hadn't fulfilled his destiny.  
  
A light filled the room.  
  
"You must let him go. Face your demon and let him go."  
  
"Why do you always do this?" She screamed tears running down her face. "You give him to me, then pull him away! I can't keep doing this! Damn, I won't keep doing this, I need him."  
  
"Get rid of your demon, that is the key." The room came into sharp focus again and Nat found herself crying and lying again next to Spike who was still asleep.  
  
"Son of a." She stopped herself. She picked up bad habits from the demons she fought, swearing being one of them.  
  
Spike awoke suddenly then relaxed when he remembered who was with him. "You okay babe?" Nat said trying to hide the fact she had just been crying.  
  
"You have to leave again don't you?"  
  
"Not yet, need to sort some things out first. You being one of them." He started to purr again. He was like a small child, holding on to her for safety. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach at the thought of this change, she wanted the old Spike back.  
  
She read while Spike slept, she needed to talk to the demon that she brought back within her, but she couldn't find a spell to do that. She slammed the book shut, waking Spike up as she did so.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's okay, not really sleeping. What you looking for?" Spike asked, gesturing at the books that surrounded her.  
  
"Spell to talk to my inner demon!" He closed his eyes.  
  
"Don't need any spells for that luv. Always talking, just need to listen right." He opened his eyes. "My inner demon wants to do all sorts of bad things to you."  
  
Nat smiled sexily, "I expect my inner demon would want you to!"  
  
He smiled.  
  
"Sorry for everything."  
  
"You keep saying that!" She knelt beside the bed so she was face to face with him. "You were and still are the only good thing in my life. John screwed me up."  
  
She bowed her head.  
  
"He did things that made torture look like a tea party." She looked deep into his eyes. "The thought of you pulled me through that. Your deep blue eyes." She stroked his cheek.  
  
"That was the evil you, so now I love you deeper than I thought possible. You are my strength, my love, my everything and you have nothing to be sorry about."  
  
A single tear rolled down Spikes cheek.  
  
"I didn't know, I thought I wrecked your life."  
  
"I should have told you sooner but, there's been things standing in the way." A sudden pain in her chest broke the spell between them. Spike grabbed her to stop her falling. It passed and Nat took deep breaths to calm down.  
  
"Looks like my inner demon wants to talk!"  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat sat, eyes closed, trying to sense the demon that was invading her body.  
  
"Damn this is too hard!" She opened her eyes and saw Spike smiling. "What?"  
  
"When you swear, I find it funny. Why don't I help?"  
  
"Okay, what are you.?" Spike kissed her before she had a chance to finish. It felt different than before, more calm, more romantic.  
  
"Evil, back stabbing scum!"  
  
Nat pulled away. "What the hell was that?" Nat asked.  
  
Spike smiled. "A kiss."  
  
She rolled her eyes, "No, that voice!"  
  
"I guess it was your inner demon?" He leant back still smirking and looked like his old self.  
  
Nat closed her eyes, Spike was way too distracting and cute.  
  
"What do you want from me?" Nat said to the voice.  
  
"To be let out!" It screamed Nat covered her ears.  
  
"It nearly burst my ear drums!" She put energy into her inner slayer using that to confine the demon.  
  
"You okay?" Spike was leaning forward again, back to his soulful state.  
  
"Yeah, I need to go somewhere." Panic filled his eyes "I'll be back, unless you want to come?"  
  
Her insides were screaming that this was a bad idea but her heart couldn't leave him like this.  
  
"What do I do?" Spike was nervous, it scared Nat a little to see him like this, she was being the strong one and she had never had to be like this before.  
  
"Hold on to me, I hope this works, if it doesn't I'll just disappear like before okay?" Nat found herself talking to him like a child. Spike nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
She closed her eyes and mentally said. 'I want to speak to you, come on!'  
  
"Damn!" She said aloud, starting to give up. Just then, a white light enveloped them and Nat grabbed Spike's hand.  
  
"Still here pet." He whispered in her ear.  
  
"You want to know how to get rid of this demon?" The voice enveloped them.  
  
"Yes!" Nat shouted into the light.  
  
"What the hell?" Spike said  
  
"Just go with it. It's a power thing." Nat replied.  
  
A small girl giggled and stepped out of the white light. "Not power, knowledge."  
  
"Please, help?" Nat begged  
  
The small girl smiled.  
  
"You do not respect me less, even with this appearance."  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
The girl smiled. "I will help you talk to the demon, you will know how to deal with it when the time comes."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
The light and girl faded and they were standing in Spike's room once more.  
  
"That was amazing." Spike said.  
  
Nat nodded. "Yes, we got some straight answers."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike slept, he seemed to be doing that a lot. It was as if it were the only time he found peace. She never realised how difficult having a soul was but, then she had him to fall back on. She smiled, he doesn't have that. She was having a hard time dealing with his pain, from what little he was willing to say, she didn't know now he coped. She hadn't coped well without him the first time.  
  
He stirred, muttering something in his sleep. It sounded like Buffy, she sighed, it would never be her, she knew that. Just needed to deal with that now.  
  
"I will deal with him for you." Nat jumped, the demon inside her kept saying stuff like that. It didn't like Spike, probably because it was him that kept her grounded and out of the darkness.  
  
"Stop it." She whispered, making sure she didn't wake Spike.  
  
"He causes nothing but pain to you, he'll never love you."  
  
"It's right you know." It was Buffy, standing clear as day right in front of her. "It's me he loves, look what he's going through for me."  
  
"Who are you?" Nat back away from Buffy.  
  
She smiled. "I'm not her, but I know her."  
  
"That doesn't make sense!" Nat concentrated on her Slayer strength.  
  
"Can't fight me!" Buffy stepped forward putting her arm through Nat. "See- through!"  
  
She smiled. "You're in the way and as you can see, I can't move you but it can." She placed her hand over Nat's chest.  
  
Nat's insides lurched at that, she could feel the demon inside her trying to reach out to the impostor. She stepped back from Buffy which calmed the demon for the moment.  
  
"I can control that demon, make it twist and turn." Nat was bent double in pain. "Make it kill everyone you love."  
  
Suddenly the pain stopped and she saw the impostor looking at Spike. "But, I can tell you how to get rid of it as well."  
  
"How?" Nat stood again composing herself.  
  
"It needs you to live. Get rid of you and you drag it back whence it came." Spike stirred in his sleep again. "Time to fly, bye Natalie. Nice to meet you, even if it was short lived!"  
  
She bent close to Spike. "See you later lover!" She blew a kiss towards Spike, he awoke with a start. Nat looked about the room and Buffy had gone.  
  
"You okay? Have you lost something?" Spike asked.  
  
"No, I.oh nothing. Spike, I have to leave." She started to pack her things.  
  
"You can't. You promised you'd stay." He caught hold of her arms to stop her packing.  
  
"I need to." She wanted to get out of the room as fast as she could, she was so close to staying with him.  
  
"Well I'll come too then." She had tears in her eyes.  
  
"No, I need you to go back to Sunnydale." He flew into a rage, letting go of her.  
  
"No way am I going back to that bitch!"  
  
"Spike, something bad is coming, it may be already here."  
  
"What? Like she can't fight it by herself?" She grabbed hold of him stopping him pacing about the room.  
  
"She can't and even with your help she may lose, I don't know how to explain what I felt."  
  
"So come with me. Fight too."  
  
She shook her head, tears rolling down her face. "Can't baby, not going to be around."  
  
"You can't, not again." He held her close.  
  
"That's how I get rid of the demon Spike, there's no way round it."  
  
She pulled back, starting to pack again. "If I can live with my demon, you can live with yours, we'll help each other."  
  
She didn't want to leave him, wished she could fight with him, wished what he was saying was true.  
  
"Tell me why Nat? There's more to this." She looked into his eyes, the fire in his eyes was back, he had something to fight for again.  
  
She swallowed hard. "It's going to kill you, with the power I have it can do it." He stared at her.  
  
"I can't change your mind then can I?" She shook her head, he wrapped his arms around her, grabbing something from her pile of things. "I can't let you do this you do know that!"  
  
"But Spike," Spike pushed a dagger into her back. The pain lasting only a few seconds. He lay her on the bed and for a moment she panicked, then smiled as she felt the demon escape her body.  
  
"My kill remember!" She lay dying in his arms and Spike was crying, holding her close, wishing he didn't have to let her go.  
  
"I love you," She whispered, closing her eyes for the final time. Spike kissed her forehead.  
  
"Love you too, pet."  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
The First appeared next to Nat's roughly dug grave and watched as Spike walked away. With Nat's backpack on his back.  
  
"Good girl! Now he's all mine!" 


	4. Return to Me

The pain was over. No more fire. They won the battle. Spike smiled, he was surrounded by light and he was enjoying the feeling, remembering the last time he was in this position.  
  
"A lot less dead last time" A voice came out of the light.  
  
"And more people as I recall." Nat stepped out the light.  
  
"Natalie!" Spike threw his arms around her.  
  
"You're in Heaven, you should be more refined!" She looked at Spike and smiled. She had missed his touch so much. "Or maybe not!"  
  
She kissed him hard. Then backed off smiling sexily.  
  
"You coming?" She held her hand out to him, he took it and followed.  
  
"So this is Heaven?" Spike stood in a room which seemed to go on forever.  
  
"Not for everyone." Nat stood next to him watching his reaction.  
  
"So, I'm special?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Like you didn't know already!" She teased. "Come on, let's sit and I'll explain."  
  
She led him to a seat, he sat next to her holding her hand in his lap.  
  
"You saved the world Spike but, because of your special circumstances you could be brought back."  
  
"So this is like a waiting room?"  
  
"Sort of, yes." She beamed.  
  
"So, why are there others here like you?"  
  
"Well, I'm here because of you." He looked puzzled. "Well, have you noticed things going better for you this year?"  
  
"Not the best year but, there's been a few times, yeah." He looked at her. "You?"  
  
"I'm your Guardian Angel." He kissed her, then pulled back again with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
"So, why am I dead?"  
  
"Well it was you or Angel and I wasn't going to let him be the hero was I?"  
  
"That's my girl!"  
  
"Can I continue now?"  
  
"Continue away."  
  
"Okay. So, if you get called back, as it were, you'll be able to see me when I'm helping. Which will be good because my being able to see you and you not see me has been driving me insane!"  
  
"Been there." They both laughed.  
  
"What do I do till I find out if I'm called then?"  
  
"You get to hang out with me." He smiled. "You've only been dead five minutes." He scooped her onto his lap.  
  
"And the problem is?"  
  
"I missed you so much!" She giggled.  
  
"Pet, you got somewhere more private?"  
  
"Prude!" She teased. "Close your eyes."  
  
"And that's privacy?"  
  
"Spike, just close your eyes." He did.  
  
"Imagine the happiest place you've been."  
  
The environment changed, they were sitting in a small room in Mexico.  
  
"This?" Nat said shocked, Spike opened his eyes.  
  
"Before I killed you, I was happy, being here with you. Plus it was before the First made me crazy."  
  
Nat paused looking thoughtful. "Yeah but, it was before you killed me right?" She said seriously. He threw a pillow at her. "Oh, so you want to fight do you?" She teased, she was really happy he was dead.  
  
She lay in his arms and was so happy she knew something bad was just round the corner. She wrinkled up her nose, Spike watched her and knew what she was thinking he was thinking it too, he saw the room flicker.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"What?" Nat hadn't seen it but knew what was happening. Spike started to flicker.  
  
"You're being called back."  
  
"I'm losing you again damn, I can't."  
  
"I'll meet you down there as soon as I can I promise." She kissed him.  
  
"I love you baby, always will." He held onto her as if keeping hold of her would bring her with him. Soon, he stopped flickering and just disappeared. Nat sighed.  
  
"It was nice while it lasted."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lilah stood in the white room, she missed it in here. All that time they wouldn't let her near it and now it was hers. Well, not really but, close enough.  
  
She opened the book which she held and flicked to the correct page.  
  
"Great, Latin! I just love reading Latin!"  
  
She read over it in her head then opened her mouth to begin.  
  
"You're not causing trouble I hope?" Angel was standing next to her.  
  
"And who invited you to my party?"  
  
"Open door, just came in, what can I say?"  
  
"How about goodbye?" Lilah stared daggers at Angel, he was going to ruin everything, as usual. You think having him on the staff would mean he was easier to control, far from it.  
  
"I'm going to stick around, but please continue."  
  
She sighed, well, he was going find out soon enough he might as well know now.  
  
"accendo, be gone, auris, be restored, recursus, what was lost."  
  
A blinding light then nothing, Lilah smiled, flicked open her mobile.  
  
"It's done, go get my present."  
  
Angel looked at Lilah.  
  
"You'll find out in the meeting tomorrow morning, ten o'clock alright for you?" She breezed out of the room with a huge smile on her face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sunnydale was no longer a hole. The ground was once again clear for the new development to begin. In the middle of this clear area was a lone figure, looking lost and dazed.  
  
Two cars drove up to the figure and he was ushered inside. Once inside his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he looked outside and for the first time realised the sun was still up. He looked at the woman in the car with a puzzled expression.  
  
"Welcome back to the human race!" She smiled  
  
"Bloody hell!" Spike wished he was back with Nat.  
  
Nat opened her eyes and was sitting in the back of a car, she looked about, they were heading for LA. Spike noticed her but didn't say anything and she knew it was Wolfram and Hart but, needed to tell Spike that. She manovered herself so she was sitting next to him.  
  
"Hey! I know you can't speak cos you'll look crazy but, cough if you can hear me?"  
  
Spike coughed, the lady sitting in the front gave a quick glance.  
  
"We are nearly there Mr Spike."  
  
"Good." he mumbled.  
  
"They are with Wolfram and Hart."  
  
Spike's eyes went wide.  
  
"Calm down. It's not all bad, Angel's in charge now." He rolled his eyes, Nat giggled.  
  
"Okay then, it's all bad but, I'm here." She put her hand on top of his.  
  
"Goodness! I can touch you!" She beamed. Spike looked at Nat and smile sexily. "Not a chance in hell!" Spike bent close to her. "Now who's the prude?" he whispered.  
  
The woman in the front gave him a funny look.  
  
"What?" He sighed. 'This is gonna get complicated', thought Spike.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Angel was pacing, he never paced but this was making him nervous. He had finally got out of Wesley what Lilah was up to and he didn't like it.  
  
The car was due any minute but, then he'd been saying that to himself for 15 minutes now. The doors finally opened and in strode Spike, a big grin on face.  
  
"Hello Peaches!"  
  
"Don't ever call me that!" Angel said through gritted teeth.  
  
"So, no hug?" Spike said opening his arms out towards Angel.  
  
Angel glared at him and turned to leave, bumping into Lilah.  
  
"What's wrong boss?" Lilah smiled.  
  
"I'm going to dust his ass!"  
  
"That will be difficult, not impossible but difficult" Lilah said dropping her smile.  
  
"Why?" Angel knew she was up to something.  
  
"Cos I'm human Peaches." Spike said putting his arm round Angel's shoulders. He was loving this. It was worth all that pain for the look on Angel's face. Angel turned and left without a reply.  
  
"Probly going to set-up the party." Spike said to Lilah.  
  
Nat was bent over laughing. When she recovered she found Lilah talking to Spike, 'not good', she thought.  
  
"So you see, you're very special, but not fully human" She finished, Spike didn't look at all interested.  
  
"Ok, so sunbathing a plus, still need blood which I can live with, and heartbeat I'll get used to. What I want to know is what you want from me?"  
  
"Well nothing."  
  
"You lying bitch." Nat said at Lilah. Spike smirked.  
  
"I'm thinking, not true!"  
  
Lilah's eyes dilated, she knew someone else was here and that she couldn't see them, she looked around.  
  
"Keep looking, you can't see me! I'm so much better at this than you, I've had a hundred years practice."  
  
"Who you looking for?" Spike asked innocently.  
  
"You're not alone, who is it?" Lilah was getting frustrated.  
  
"Guess?" Spike said.  
  
"Okay, you don't want to tell? That's fine!" She turned to leave. "Is it Darla?"  
  
"As if! She never liked me when she was undead." Spike smirked.  
  
"Cordelia?"  
  
"I tried to kill her several times, so no."  
  
Spike followed Lilah trying to guess all the way up to the office.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Angel sat opposite Spike, both giving each other looks. Spike kept looking past Angel and smiling. Angel didn't know what he was looking at. He was beginning to think Spike had lost what little brain cells he had left.  
  
Nat leant on the wall gazing at Spike, she felt an ache in her stomach being so close to him but not able to kiss him. It was driving her crazy. He gave her little looks and smiles that were turning her insides to jelly.  
  
"When do we get this show on the road?" Spike said, standing it no longer.  
  
"Where do you want to rush off to Spike?" Wesley asked.  
  
"Anywhere but bloody here!" Spike leant back and put his feet on the table.  
  
"Get your feet off the table, Spike." Lilah said as she breezed in.  
  
"Sod off!" Spike stuck his finger up at her.  
  
"Fine, I'll send you back where you came from." Spike let his eyes run down Nat's body.  
  
"Sounds good!"  
  
Lilah rolled her eyes.  
  
"Why the meeting?" Fred interrupted.  
  
"To discuss Spike." Lilah replied trying to get control of the meeting once more.  
  
"Oh, my favourite subject." Spike smiled.  
  
"Yes well, he is half human now but still has some vampire tendencies including his strength which is his reward for his sacrifice."  
  
"Oh great! Just what we need." Angel said folding his arms across his chest.  
  
"What do you mean by that Peaches?" Spike stood leaning across the table, Nat went to Spike's side.  
  
"Will you clam down? He's not worth it."  
  
Spike sat down, Nat knelt next to him putting her hand on his leg.  
  
"If the macho match is over, can I go on?" Lilah sighed. "Spike will be staying here until such time as he has worked off his debt, then he will be free to leave or stay, whatever he wants to do."  
  
"What bloody debt?"  
  
"I brought you back, I didn't do that just to let you go. I have a few jobs for you to do."  
  
"Christ, just what I bloody need! You should have left me dead."  
  
"Spike you will get your orders from me. Is that alright boss?" She looked at Angel.  
  
"Just keep him out of my way." Angel got up and left.  
  
"Okay, that's meeting over then. Spike follow me, I'll show you your apartment."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike sat on the end of his new bed, Nat lent in the doorway looking at the deflated man which she was now so deeply in love with.  
  
"It's not that bad." Nat tried to reassure him.  
  
"I'm stuck, being controlled by a bunch of lawyers taking orders from Peaches! Trust me, this is hell!"  
  
"You have me." Nat walked towards him and knelt at the end of his bed at his feet. She rested her head on his legs and he automatically played with her hair.  
  
"I thank, whoever it is up there for that."  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"I wish I was able to give Lilah a piece of my mind without letting her know who I am."  
  
Spike laughed. "You would defend my honour?"  
  
"Anytime."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lilah watched Spike on the monitor she had her researchers searching for a way to see who was helping him and to find out who it was. She may have to bring Angel in on this one. He knew more about Spike than she did. She switched off the monitor, whoever it was, Spike was smitten. 'Can't be Buffy,' she thought, 'But.' she shook her head. She went in search of Angel.  
  
Nat watched Spike sleep, he stirred every so often, falling in and out of his deep slumber. She sighed, she should really check in upstairs but didn't want to leave him. Five more minutes she thought and watched him again.  
  
He rolled over and she smiled, he was so at peace. She wished he could stay like that forever, to never have to face the demon part of him ever again, she sighed again. 'I better check in,' she thought. She closed her eyes, when she opened them she was in the white light. The little girl skipped into view.  
  
"Hello. You are doing well. I'm happy."  
  
"Thanks." Nat said taken aback.  
  
"You must stay with him but, they are trying to see you. That can't happen."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It can't!" The girl said sharply, she handed Nat a small pendant. "Wear this, it will deflect any magick they use. I cannot protect your identity, only one person can give this away." "Angel." Nat said with a sigh.  
  
The girl nodded. "You must go to him, let him see you."  
  
"I didn't want to."  
  
"You must face him, face your past to save your present."  
  
Nat shook her head. "But what if he.?"  
  
"Tells her? Maybe but, you are Spike's soul mate, you know this." Nat nodded. "Face the past, it's the only way."  
  
Nat was about to argue more when she found herself in Angel's office. "Face my past, what great advice, as always."  
  
Angel came to his office door, Lilah shouted after him.  
  
"Angel, I need a word with you."  
  
"Later, I'm in the middle of something." He lied.  
  
"Fine, come see me within the hour, it's important." She rushed past him.  
  
He shook his head, he knew it would be about Spike and he didn't want to discuss him. He opened his office door and saw a girl sitting in his chair, for a split second he thought it was Buffy. He could smell the mixture of Spike and Slayer power that Buffy had smelt of the last time he saw her but, as she turned the chair to face him he was shocked to see it was Nat.  
  
"Hi! Nice view."  
  
"Natalie? I thought you were."  
  
"Dead? Yeah, still am, seems to be a running theme here though." She got out of his chair and crossed the room. "I need a favour."  
  
Angel closed the door. As he passed, he touched Nat's shoulder. It was then he realised why Spike had been acting the way he had.  
  
"You're here with Spike?" She nodded.  
  
"Lilah knows someone is helping him but doesn't know it's me."  
  
"But she's going to ask me?" Angel said sitting at his desk.  
  
"Hence, the favour. I'm not asking for Spike, it makes no difference to him if they know who I am but." she paused unsure how to phrase it.  
  
"If they know it's you, they will try and split you up?"  
  
"That's part of it yes, but well , it's complicated."  
  
"I won't tell. I think I owe you that much."  
  
"At least." Nat turned to leave not wanting to stir up old emotions.  
  
"One thing. Who killed you the second time? Willow was sketchy on the details."  
  
Nat didn't turn around but she smiled. "The one person worthy."  
  
She disappeared. Angel sat for a moment, it was Spike. He couldn't believe he'd killed her. It reminded him of Buffy, he smiled. 'Must be a right of passage for slayer relationships,' he thought, he knew in that moment that Buffy was his and Spike wouldn't fight to get her back.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Lilah was fuming, Angel had not been as helpful as she anticipated. He acted surprised when she asked him about it but, he knew already. Whoever it was had gotten to him.  
  
Nat watched as Lilah paced, she made a note on Lilah's memo pad. 'Stop looking, you will find trouble.' Nat went back to Spike, she could feel him calling her. Lilah sat at her desk and noticed the message.  
  
"I'll get you!" She said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike watched Lilah pace it was amusing to watch her suffer.  
  
"How about this? You tell me who it is. I'll let you out of our contract?" He tilted his head to the side.  
  
"Continue."  
  
"You can go where you want?"  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"Like I could stop her, she seems to have some powerful friends."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow and smiled. "More than you."  
  
Lilah just glared .  
  
"She does, doesn't she?" She rocked back on his chair. "Impressive. Fine, I'll tell you her name and that's it."  
  
Lilah smiled, she could get all she needed from a name. She nodded and shook his hand.  
  
"Natalie."  
  
Lilah stopped smiling. "It's not, Buffy?"  
  
"Why the hell would you think it was her?"  
  
"I had some psychics on the case they said it was your soul mate, so I thought?"  
  
Spikes eyes widened. "What did you say?"  
  
"This Natalie is your soul mate Spike. You are meant to be with her forever."  
  
Spike smiled and thought for a moment. "Cool." Spike got up to leave.  
  
"Where you going?" Lilah demanded.  
  
"Out."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike stood outside smoking a cigarette. He kept glancing up at a certain window of the building. He finished off his smoke and flicked it against the building. He took a deep breath and entered. He climbed the stairs slowly, he was trying to put this off but found he couldn't any longer. He got to the right door, took another deep breath and knocked. The door opened and he smiled.  
  
"Hi."  
  
Buffy threw her arms around him then, after a moment drew back.  
  
"You're alive? I mean really alive?"  
  
"Yeah Pet but, not what I came about" He smiled weakly.  
  
"Come in." Spike sat in the window, he found himself drawn to the sun most of the time. Buffy smiled, she always did look prettier in the day.  
  
"So, what have you come about?"  
  
"Two things. One to find out what your plans are, I mean for the Bit and all."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, Spike cared about Dawn but she knew he wanted to know what she was doing about them.  
  
"And to tell you.I found her again and I'm.happy."  
  
Buffy took a sharp intake of breath. "But I thought she was.?"  
  
"Dead yeah, still is, but. it's complicated Pet."  
  
Buffy sat down for a moment, she looked up with a look of pain in her eyes. "Why are you telling me this?"  
  
"So I can let you go, I care about you. Well, I love you but, I need her. It aches without her and I recently found out why."  
  
"She's your soul mate?" Spike nodded slowly, a single tear fell down Buffy's cheek.  
  
"I think I always knew." He said wanting to comfort her, she wiped her eyes and stood up.  
  
"You should go back to her then."  
  
Spike stood and faced Buffy. "I meant everything I ever told you Buffy. You're one hell of a woman, just not mine."  
  
She laughed. "You only want me cos Angel does."  
  
"Damn right." He winked and they both laughed.  
  
"Don't disappear on me. I want to know what my hero is up to." Spike nodded.  
  
"You should know by now it's not easy to get rid of me."  
  
"Bye Spike, thanks for everything."  
  
"Love you Slayer." He hugged her tight, as he left a pain in his gut reminded him how human he now was.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat paced Spikes apartment, she was nervous. Spike was near Buffy she could feel it. After he told Lilah, she was angry but now he was going straight to Buffy. She sat, a sigh escaped her lips, maybe it was all over. She heard the door open, she rose quickly and was faced with Spike.  
  
"Hey!" He said, throwing his coat on a chair. Nat just stared at him. He went to the kitchen and got some blood, on his return Nat was standing in the same place a look of disbelief on her face.  
  
Spike scowled. "What did I do?"  
  
Nat rolled her eyes. "You told Lilah my name."  
  
"Well, like she's going to find out anything!"  
  
"I'm sorry, are we talking about a different Lilah? Mine has Wolfram and Harts records and goodness knows what else!"  
  
Nat sat back on the couch folding her arms across her chest. Spike sat next to her both staring ahead.  
  
"Sorry." Spike said in a whisper, not really thinking he was wrong but still saying it. Nat stayed the same, not looking at him.  
  
"Got some good news if I'm forgiven?" Nat didn't move or make a sound. "I'll take that as a yes?"  
  
"You are infuriating!" She got up trying to leave but, realised that she had nowhere to go.  
  
Spike rose and wrapped his arms around Nat.  
  
"I thought that was a part of my charm!" Nat chewed her bottom lip, trying to stay mad at him. After a moment she gave in and wrapped her arms around him in return.  
  
"What's your news?" She sighed. He beamed like a child winning over a parent.  
  
"I told Buffy and said my goodbyes." Nat kissed him.  
  
"Oh Spike! I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that. You truly mean it?"  
  
"Course I do, I love you Pet. You're my world, my soul mate."  
  
She rested her head on his shoulder, closed her eyes and felt happy.  
  
"I also got out of my contract. How about we go and be the Scourge of Europe for a few years?"  
  
"Oh, so you're back to bad boy ways then?" Nat said teasing him.  
  
"You ain't seen nothing yet!"  
  
Nat smiled sexily.  
  
"How about you follow me and I'll show you just how bad Pet?" He grabbed her hand and led her to his bedroom. Nat didn't put up any resistance.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She lay in his arms, Spike sound asleep. She had felt the girl calling her for half an hour now but didn't want to leave his arms. She felt the call again, it was a flutter in her stomach. She tried to ignore it and felt Spike stir next to her, she smiled. Maybe he wouldn't miss her for a short while. One thought and she was dressed once more, she then closed her eyes took a deep breath taking in the scent of him and when she opened her eyes, she was in the white room.  
  
"You're testing my patience!" The girl stepped into Nat's vision.  
  
"I was in the middle of something." Nat said rather annoyed at the welcome.  
  
"That's not what I'm talking about. You're messing with his future again!"  
  
"Oh, not again! I'm not leaving him! You gave him to me, you said we would be together!" Nat's eyes began to fill with tears.  
  
"You can stay with him but, you must stay in LA with Lilah."  
  
Nat stopped herself from saying something she would regret, she pushed down the anger and the feelings of being lost that came with this decision.  
  
"I'll do what must be done."  
  
The girl smiled. "Good girl!"  
  
Nat winced at that, she knew she would never return to this room again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike stared at her for a moment.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
She nodded. "I have to do this Spike, you know me, what I've been through? I need you to do this, for me?" He held her close.  
  
"Lets do it Pet." He whispered in her ear.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat stood at the doorway of Lilah's office. She waved her hand and all the blinds shut. Lilah jumped, staring at the doorway, she saw the young girl.  
  
"Natalie, I presume?" She said leaning back in her chair.  
  
"Never presume but, in this case you are correct." Nat strode across the room and sat on Lilah's desk.  
  
"What do I owe this pleasure to?"  
  
"A deal, I know you like those Lilah."  
  
"Go on." Lilah said staring this confident girl in the eyes.  
  
"Spike wants to go free lance. We both fancy working for Wolfram and Hart but, we want to travel around."  
  
Lilah smiled. "Even if I agreed, we wouldn't own you, they would." She pointed upwards.  
  
"Not if you bring me back."  
  
"Why would I want to do that?"  
  
"A powerful witch, who happens to be a Slayer and who's the soul mate of Spike? I think I'm valuable."  
  
Lilah smiled once more. "You're very intelligent as well. Ever though of a career in law?"  
  
"I have a job but, do I have a deal?"  
  
Lilah thought for a moment. "I'll ask the senior partners and get back to you."  
  
"You have 24 hours, then the deal is off." Nat disappeared before her eyes.  
  
"I like her! She's sassy!" Lilah said to an empty office.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat watched Spike pack up what little things he had accumulated here in LA. She looked at the clock. "Two more hours." Spike said without looking up.  
  
"Yeah." Nat said a bit depilated.  
  
"How will you know the decision?" Spike asked.  
  
"Give me your hand." Spike did without hesitation. Nat placed it on her chest.  
  
"What do you feel?"  
  
Spike smiled. "Well." He smirked.  
  
"Spike!" He thought for a moment then scowled.  
  
"I don't feel anything."  
  
"Exactly, you can touch me but, I'm still dead."  
  
"So, when you get a heart beat?"  
  
"We'll be the same." She put her hand on his, it was still on her chest. he wrapped his other arm around her waist. She looked at the clock . "Hour fifty now Pet." Spike said without looking at the clock.  
  
Nat rolled her eyes. "I hate it when you do that!"  
  
A knock at the door, broke the moment between them, Spike sighed. "Maybe later. Eh Pet?"  
  
"That was the last thing on my mind, now get the door."  
  
Spike stormed to the door, ripping it open.  
  
"What?" He said frustrated.  
  
"Nice Spike. Do you greet all your business partners with such polite decorum?"  
  
Lilah said pushing past him, she noticed the messy apartment.  
  
"You do know, you won't get your deposit back don't you?" Nat appeared from the bedroom.  
  
"You have news for us, or are you just here to insult Spike's house keeping?"  
  
"I'm here to tell you, that the senior partner's agree that in theory this little deal could work, only one problem."  
  
"Hour and a half to go." Spike said appearing next to Nat.  
  
"Okay so I'll be brief. We don't have a way to bring you back."  
  
"Liar." Nat almost spat at Lilah.  
  
"I'm not. If we had more time." She glared at Spike who just smiled at her. "We can bind you to earth."  
  
"Go on." Nat urged.  
  
"Which means they," She pointed up. "Won't be able to call you, to order you about. But, downside, your stuck here forever and I mean end of the world. As long as there is an earth you are bound to it."  
  
Nat looked at Spike.  
  
"Well, I'm not going anywhere for a while." Spike said.  
  
"That's true. Maybe human but, still has immortality of a vampire." Lilah reassured, she wanted to get this deal, the more she proved she was needed, the longer Wolfram and Hart would keep her above ground.  
  
"It's you're decision Pet. Not gonna help with this one." Spike slumped onto a chair. "One hour fifteen." He said lighting a cigarette.  
  
"Okay." Nat said. "I want to be with Spike, I'll do anything."  
  
"I'll tell the senior partners. I will call you when we are going to bind you."  
  
Nat nodded and showed Lilah out. She closed the door and leant on it.  
  
"You sure about this Pet?"  
  
Nat shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sure about you. I refuse to just give up without a fight this time." She slid down the door, landing in a heap on the floor. She put her head in her hands. Spike didn't move, leaving Nat a moment.  
  
"I don't want you to go through with this just for me. I love you Nat so, I don't want to hurt you." He crossed the room slowly and crouched next to her lifting her head out of her hands and looking into her eyes. "Do this for you, a stray stake and you're without me again."  
  
She smiled. "I'm sure then. I lived without you before, well not totally, you're always in my heart." She leaned towards him and kissed him. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Clarification." Nat smiled.  
  
"Don't start using long words, I may have to find a blonde to play with." She hit him playfully .  
  
"How about we finish what Lilah interrupted?" She said smiling sexily.  
  
Spike scooped Nat into his arms.  
  
"I knew you were thinking what I was!" Spike said as he carried her to the bedroom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nat stood in the middle of a pentagram, which now decorated Lilah's office floor. Nat had her eyes closed feeling the energy that the simple design had generated in the room. Lilah was sitting at her desk watching the three priests buzzing around the pentagram, they could not see Nat. Lilah could though and made sure they knew where she was.  
  
"We are ready to start, is the girl?" One priest asked. Nat nodded, not opening her eyes. Lilah nodded to the priest. He opened the book and started to read, it was a strange language Nat did not recognise, the other two men threw powders at the centre of the pentagram. The priest reading was starting to read louder, Nat felt her insides buzzing, her head started to feel fuzzy as if filled with cotton. She started to feel dizzy, swaying slightly.  
  
"Let it be done!" All three priests said at once. Suddenly, the room came into sharp contrast for Nat and all three priests gasped. They now saw Nat. She took a deep breath then collapsed on the floor.  
  
Spike watched Nat, she was waiting for him to get ready, she would wait forever.  
  
"We ready Pet?" Nat nodded scooping up her backpack.  
  
"Where to first?" She asked.  
  
"Paris? I thought we would have a little holiday before we start working." Spike grabbed her hand and led her outside where a motorbike was waiting. "I also thought we would go to the airport in style." Nat smiled, and put on her helmet.  
  
"You lead and I'll follow." Nat held on tight as Spike sped towards the airport and the rest of eternity together. 


End file.
